DEAR ABSENT FATHERS,
I’m writing to you today because your actions have consequences that affect not just you, but also the lives of your children and the mothers who carried them. While some of you may have chosen to walk away from your responsibilities, the impact of your absence can be felt deeply by those left behind. A present father is always there for his children/s needs and their own development. The involvement brings a sense of belonging, and security. You can enhance their self-esteem and stability.
It is well known that love between a father and a mother is a unique complex terrain. There might be problems that forced you to be an absent father. It is understandable why you walked away. But the father cannot abandon his parental duties without putting a fight. An absent father must know that his behaviour has an undesirable and detrimental consequences to children.
The children have the birth right and deserve to know you, to feel your love, and to have your support. They urgently need a father figure in their lives who cares about their well-being, attends their milestones, and provides for their needs.
All fathers must stick to the societal rules and ethics of being a present father. We thereby encourage absent fathers to just make a bold step of connecting their child/children’s mother. The connection is meant to enter the terrain of being a present father figure. The current age of the child does not matter, what matters most is the thought and the intention of correcting the past wrongs. Be the father that look at children’s needs.
Our lovely children who are victims of growing without a father figure and or support, we are with you in our hearts, and we love you and you are dearly loved.
The author is a product of an absent father, and he knows the pain and challenges faced by children without the present father.
Regards
Dr Sefoko Ramoshaba
Social Justice and Leadership Institute
www.sjli.co.za
tlouyaphokojweng@gmail.com
064 709 2097
11 Comments
That’s true fathers must start to be there for their children. I know the love of my father I remember him everyday.
Very profound. But let’s remember old adage that days it take a village to raise a child. I think without exonerating absent father of their responsibilities.
…..we must a saner token evaluate the impact of colonialisation in dismantling of core existence. But I stand to be correct!Sankofoka
Very true, colonisation has dismantled what was known as an African family, where villagers were a single family.
Special kids
The sad part is when a father wants to be a present father but the mother is blocking the way.
I’m in the same predicament. I want to live with kids but their mother would rather have me as an “absent father”, because I chose not to be her husband anymore.
But kids are not supposed to be caught in between the tensions.
So true broer
None
Doing well
Good Day Doc, very thought provoking, especially the way in which it was written. A deeply sensitive and serious matter, addressed in such a way that it passively piques the conscience. Yet it hits somewhere.
Thanks for this, in turn, it has reminded me just how fortunate I am.🙏🏽🙏🏽